Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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