There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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