Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i now understand why vodka
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
