It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
tell me about the fingering
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