so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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