you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
