I don't usually arrange sex via text message
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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