i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Shame - the story of my life.
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