worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
