apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My vagina just clenched in fear
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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