I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
