Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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