when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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