the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
