Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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