it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
if i died would you start the facebook group?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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