So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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