so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
