i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
