if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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