My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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