in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
