he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
