Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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