So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Randomize
