my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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