if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The uberlube is also flammable
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
