i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
