I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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