That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
