yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
