You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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