Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
