i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize