I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I touched a dick in church today
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
