i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
