id be glad to
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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