so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
