I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize