We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
