you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
