There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Life is so much better after having sex.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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