checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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