wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
