ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
