I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
