Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
