bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
