New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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