Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
