he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Less talking, more tequila
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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