If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
