My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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