Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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